Lucas and Marcy, Toronto
Identity: Trans Man
'I’m a musician, an artist, a mental health advocate and a dog dad. Marcy falls asleep in my arms when I sing to her. I’ve had great success in my life and toured extensively having been the first out trans man signed to a major record deal. I’ve met wonderful people, have great friends and lived a full life, and for that I feel incredible gratitude but with those highs, there have been devastating, life threatening lows. The life of a musician, as people are becoming increasingly aware, is often not always an easy one.
I started my physical transition 11 years ago. Even 11 years ago, there was not the awareness around trans issues that there is now. Transition is hard. Transition in the public eye is even harder.
The pandemic really brought everything to a head for me. I live by myself with Marcy and have an autoimmune disease so for my physical health I became more isolated than the isolated. Whilst I kept myself and others physically safe from the virus, mentally and emotionally I was becoming dangerously ill and nobody knew - not even me. I believe some of those most impacted by the pandemic are those whose work was taken away from them. I love my work, it’s a fundamental part of who I am, and I lost a part of myself. My drinking, something that I had been using as a coping mechanism, something that had once helped, was now ravaging not only my body but also my mind. Had it not been for Marcy I would not have survived the pandemic. I don’t say that lightly. She was the one thing that has been constant, by my side. Some days I stayed alive and kept going only for her.
Like for many, the pandemic also had its silver linings, and it could have given me one of the greatest gifts that I’ve ever had. I was just recently diagnosed with a mental illness that I’d lived with untreated for years. I have help now and I’ve stopped drinking. I feel like a completely new man. I have a sneaky feeling that this next chapter is going to be the best yet and the only reason I’m even here to tell this story is because of Marcy. Thank you Marcy, you saved me yet again and just wait to see where this new journey takes us both - you’re going to be the proudest dog in the whole world.
However dark it gets, please hold on. Please reach out. You likely have a whole army by your side wanting to cheer you on, and the best may be just around the corner. I love you all, Lucas.'